Thanks for visiting! If you're new here, you may want to subscribe to our FREE Full Article RSS feed. This blog posts regular product reviews, industry news, riding tips, videos, ride reports and anything else mountain biking. Go ahead, subscribe to our feed! You can also receive instant, FREE updates from this blog via email.
How To Get Your Girl To Ride
(Without Her Dumping You)
Post by: Tracey McCormick
Originally posted on MTOBikes.com
Lucky you. After years of agonizing bachelordom you finally found a great girl. She understands your need to control the universe of the remote. She doesn’t nag you about the toilet seat. She’s a gourmet cook. Maybe she even enjoys SportsCenter. She’s athletic and beautiful and sexy and she loves you.
But she doesn’t ride. Why not?
Maybe she’s not comfortable on a bike. Or maybe she’s comfortable on a bike but has visited you in the emergency room too many times. Could be some past boyfriend ruined any chance of her ever riding again. Probably she thinks mountain biking is too hard core.
But wouldn’t it be great if the two of you could ride together? Wouldn’t it be cool if once a week the two of you could go for a jaunt or if (someday) she could come along on a group ride?
Well, she can, but she’s going to need your help. Below are Tracey’s Top Ten Rules for getting your girl to ride. The rules don’t guarantee success but might increase your chances.
Rule 1 - Start the discussion.
Begin talking about how great it would be if the two of you rode together. Promise it’ll be just the two of you until she’s ready to ride with others. If she has girlfriends who ride, encourage her to ride with them a few times before she ventures out with you. If she doesn’t have any female friends of the dirt variety, find a local group of strictly female mountain bikers and drive her to her first ride. She’s intimidated by your riding ability, the sport, and her own insecurities. Tread carefully.
Rule 2 - Do not over invest.
If she doesn’t have a bike, borrow one or get a used one cheaply. Buy only the essentials: bike shorts, glove, and a helmet. A thousand dollars is a lot of money to spend on what could turn out to be only a one-day outing. You don’t want her to feel guilty about the $600 Trek spending the rest of its years in the garage.
Rule 3 - Tell her the basics.
Knowing how to corner is important, but not necessary for the first ride. The most intimidating, confusing, and important things about mountain biking are shifting and braking. Give her a lesson on shifting gears and using the back brake. Tell her about cross-chaining so she doesn’t work against herself. Do this in the parking lot right before the ride so she remembers. Teach her trail etiquette and explain why uphill riders have the right-of-way. Stop there. Answer her questions, of course, but resist the urge to tell her about torque and ratios. Her eyes will glaze over under the haze of too much information.
Rule 4 - Start slow.
Maybe your girl is a yoga instructor or world-class skier. Doesn’t matter. Take her on a beginner ride. Remember mountain biking is an inherently dangerous sport. Just because she’s in shape doesn’t mean she’s ready for an intermediate trail. She needs to focus on braking, gearing, and trail etiquette. Throw a rock garden or steep uphill into the mix and the chances for failure increase exponentially.
Rule 5 - Be a gentleman.
Give the bike a once-over and fix any mechanicals before the ride. Get her bike off the rack for her. Put the front wheel on. Carry everything except her water. This means all tools, extra tubes, and the windbreaker.
Rule 6 - Watch your language.
I’m not talking f-bombs here. I’m talking about how to give her advice while she’s on the trail. Women speak more indirectly than men. Ever notice how, if your girl wants you to take the garbage out she says, “Do you want to take the garbage out?” Of course you don’t want to take the garbage out, but she wants you to, and this is her way of asking you. Replace “You need” with “Why don’t you try” or “It might be easier for you to do x if you do y.” Practice using these phrases before you hit the trail. Remember it’s not what you say but how you say it.
Rule 7 - Be patient.
There’s a good chance she’s going to get discouraged and angry as she’s fiddling with the gears and trying to stay upright. She might even yell at you—even though you’ve done nothing wrong. Whatever you do, do not yell back. She’s frustrated and wants to impress you. Try not to shake your head when she walks her bike over what looks to you like a couple of pebbles. Do not laugh when she has the fall of the century. Most importantly, stay within her field of vision. There’s nothing scarier than being left to your own devices in unfamiliar territory.
Rule 8 - Watch her body language.
Even though you’ve told her “We can stop any time you want to,” she’s not going to be as vocal as she should. She knows you’re hard-core and hardly ever stop; she doesn’t want to ruin your fun. But if she’s huffing and puffing after the first half-mile, take a rest. Don’t ask her “Do you want to stop?” because chances are she’ll probably say no. If she refuses to make eye contact with you, she’s angry. If this happens, get off the bikes, enjoy the scenery, and kiss her sweaty forehead. If she wants to turn back after ten minutes, tell her the first twenty minutes of any ride are the most difficult. Determine her level of frustration/anger and decide if negotiating another ten minutes is going to be worth it.
Rule 9 - Lie.
Tell her how great she’s doing even if she’s not. But don’t overdo it because her BS meter will go off. If you can’t think of anything positive to say, tell her “You’re a beautiful rider” or “You look sexy on bike.” Then you won’t have to lie.
Rule 10 - Accept that this is not a real ride.
Chances are, you’re not going to get a workout: you’re going to be stopping, starting, encouraging, and explaining. Both of you are paying your dues on this initial ride, but who knows? With a little effort, patience, and tongue-biting, she could turn out to be the best riding partner you’ve ever had.
If you like this post then please consider commenting below and subscribing to my full feed RSS. You can also subscribe by Email and have new posts sent directly to your inbox. You can also follow me on Twitter.
Related Posts
September 24th, 2008 at 9:06 am
I wish it would work this way. Thanks for the tips though! I started the dialog with my girlfriend (who recently became my fiance, and even more recently, my wife). Thus far, that’s as far as we’ve gotten (talking about it).
I wish everyone who reads this and tries the best of luck, as I hope you will wish me.
September 24th, 2008 at 10:35 am
The number one suggestion is to find other girls for her to ride with. Spouses / significant others should NOT teach each other how to ride, kayak, or much of anything else, actually. That’s what friends are for. If you don’t have friends, find a MTB group hosting women’s ride clinics. Take her oto them, and go ride the trails while she’s learning.
September 24th, 2008 at 12:41 pm
@mr. tracey: This one has worked the best for me. Patience levels are completely different with significant others than they are with friends.
If you can find a competent friend to help with the teaching duties. You will thank them later for it!
September 25th, 2008 at 1:38 pm
I’m still at the just discussing level. Recent progress involved a shift from “I’ll never mountain bike” to maybe someday.
Being in the process of teaching my boys how to MTB, I can tell you many of the same rules apply. #10 is a must, though I’ve started doing a little interval work when riding with them. Either sprinting up hills and waiting at the top or, probably better, shifting into a harder gear and pedalling slow with a lot of torque, which makes it more strength training oriented.
September 26th, 2008 at 1:11 am
@tenbsmith: She’ll come around. I would get her around some woman that ride so that she sees how much fun she can have. That was a big step with mine…getting her around the group. Mountain biking has a lot of great personalities that go with it.
September 29th, 2008 at 5:04 am
great tips! Hope I can get my gf to ride with me. Been trying to do so ever since i started the hobby haha
jcs last blog post..Marin Bobcat Trail v1.1
October 2nd, 2008 at 8:25 am
tend to agree that unless they are super sporty taking them for a ride is best left to times where they have another girl to go along with. having said that gentle rides in France worked very well for my wife - that is until i crashed into her of course.
Lance Nelsons last blog post..Property viewing process
October 2nd, 2008 at 1:37 pm
Now that is some great advice but it’s come a little late for me and my ‘bike’ was a 180 hp Suzuki GSX-R 1000. So many of your tips could have used but the communication was poor as I wound back the throttle at 120 mph. She spent the entire afternoon (after the short ride), on the couch exhausted and swearing she would never go riding again! Of course there was only one solution to the situation so had to send her on her way “on foot”. I’ll try and head your advice in the future and might get a different result - she did complain a lot though!
Jason Nethercotts last blog post..Avoiding the Uncertainty Syndrome - How to create your own Business Process Videos - Part 2
October 5th, 2008 at 4:12 pm
Good suggestions all. My only comment would be on your point, “remember it’s not a REAL ride.” If the purpose of the ride is to get out in the air with your girl, to have fun, to share with her some of who you are, then indeed I think it IS a real ride.
Good post! G.
Graces last blog post..Save computer time by knowing how a pigeon thinks
October 5th, 2008 at 9:50 pm
@Grace: I completely agree…just because I am not riding like I normally am…it doesn’t mean that it is any less fun or any less of a ride. Sometimes it is even more rewarding.